Archive for October, 2010
Man sentenced in cop-owned doughnut shop theft
by Scott on Oct.28, 2010, under humor, News
A 24-year-old Coleman man accused of stealing money from a police-owned doughnut shop in mid-Michigan has been sentenced to spend the next five weekends in jail.
WNEM-TV says Brent Kenyon was sentenced Wednesday to 10 days in jail and will serve two days at a time. Kenyon pleaded guilty in September to a misdemeanor charge of larceny of less than $1,000.
Police said Kenyon was a nightshift employee at the Cops and Doughnuts Bakery in Clare, about 130 miles northwest of Detroit, when the theft happened. They say surveillance cameras caught him breaking into the office area overnight and stealing cash.
Kenyon also was ordered pay back nearly $800 in restitution to the shop.
via Man sentenced in cop-owned doughnut shop theft | freep.com | Detroit Free Press.
Baby Injured During At-Home Circumcision
by Scott on Oct.26, 2010, under News
PORTLAND, Ore. — A 3-month-old child was taken to a hospital in critical condition after his mother attempted to circumcise him at home, police said.
Portland police Sgt. Pete Simpson said officers arrived at a home at Northeast 127th Avenue and Burnside Street at about 2 a.m. Sunday to assist medics after a call of an injured child.
Police said they learned the mother had attempted to perform a medical procedure on the infant.
The child was taken to a hospital, Simpson said, and is expected to survive.
Detectives from the police bureau’s child abuse team and state officials are investigating.
No arrests have been made at this point, Simpson said.
via Baby Injured During At-Home Circumcision – Portland News Story – KPTV Portland.
Just for laughs
by admin on Oct.21, 2010, under humor
Smile – In line with the many protests taking place in Europe and England associated with those Nations having now to face fiscal reality (likely coming to America in the near term), even Muslim suicide bombers are getting into the “season”:
Muslim suicide bombers in Britain are set to begin a three-day strike on Monday in a dispute over the number of virgins they are entitled to in the afterlife. Emergency talks with Al Qaeda have so far failed to produce an agreement. The unrest began last Tuesday when Al Qaeda announced that the number of virgins a suicide bomber would receive after his death will be cut by 25% this February, from 72 to only 60. The rationale for the cut was the increase in recent years of the number of suicide bombings and a subsequent shortage of virgins in the afterlife.
The suicide bomber’s union, the British Organization of Occupational Martyrs (BOOM) responded with a statement that this was unacceptable to its members and immediately balloted for strike action. General Secretary Abdullah Amir told the press, “Our members are literally working themselves to death in the cause of Jihad. We don’t ask for much in return, and to be treated like this is like a kick in the teeth.”
Speaking from his shed in Tipton in the West Midlands, in which he currently resides, Al Qaeda chief executive Osama bin Laden explained, “We sympathize with our workers concerns, but Al Qaeda is simply not in a position to meet their demands. They are simply not accepting the realities of modern-day Jihad in a competitive marketplace. Thanks to Western depravity there is now a chronic shortage of virgins in the afterlife. It’s a straight choice between reducing expenditure and laying people off. I don’t like cutting wages but I’d hate to have to tell 3,000 of my staff that they won’t be able to blow themselves up.”
Spokespersons for the Union in the north east of England, Ireland, Wales, and the entire Australian continent stated that the strike would not affect their operations, as “there are no virgins in their areas anyway.”
Apparently the drop in the number of suicide bombings has been put down to the emergence of Scottish singing star Susan Boyle – now that Muslims know what an actual virgin looks like they are not so keen on going to paradise.